Here you go, I "OPENED UP"

Hopeless,

Meaningless,

Forgotten,

I just wanted to make you proud.

"Im sorry I cant be perfect."

Sorry that Im...Nothing.

Blow me away,

Wash me down...

Would that be better?

Better than seeing me,

hating me, from a distance,

and pretnding, acting when Im near...

just so you can smile.

Who said I didnt care...Why do you think I "act" that way?

How do people treat me?!

...

Lifes much easier if you...pretend your hollow,

things go right through...

But when my gaurd is down and reality hits me,

and I must realize that Im not hollow...

And that every word whispered,

yes, I heard it.

And every look,

yes, I saw them.

And every thought unmurmered,

yes,...I felt them.

And yes,...It Hurts...

Very much...

Tell the world,

The eccentric fake smiled girl,

Who Doesnt Care..

Has a Gosh Damn Heart!

And tell them-

She feels every sting you throw,

every "joke" you laugh,

and every behind-the-back-she'll-never-know word you say.

Tell the world-

That because of THEM...

I cry...

.

Dont keep me around,

if this is what your going to do to me...

I suffer deeply on the inside,

and guess which lovely soul is to blame...

I am too kind to hate,

but yes I shall frown,

DO I AT LEAST HAVE THAT RIGHT!?

...

Do I?

I hurt so bad,

so desperate for guidence,

Lord if there was a God...

Please, I am on my knees,

I BEG YOU...

Fix it...

Please...

Cure me...

At least help... them.

...Please, I cry more now than ever before.

The tears no longer crystalized,

but tainted red with such pain and resentment I feel.

So desperate am I, that I am settling for

Abusive Love,

But its love right?

Its something...

Beggers cants be choosers...

And a begger I am...

...

Why would God help trash,

much less look at it...

Im thrown,

in the trash,

into waste.

...

Gone,-

I wish...

AGH!!!!!!
WHAT TO DO!!!!?
I AM INSANE!
Away from going,

Im Gone!-

.

I AM-

LOST

mind incomplete,

in too deep,

never sober,

drunk with pain, sorrows, depression

from deep impressions

-

(Complain that I lie, change and make up stories,

and that I never "open up".

Well is this what you wanted to hear?

This is what I have to tell-

Now you wish you hadnt asked...)

Too Damn Late! YOU got me started...Now

I Must-

finish.

-

Suicide-

Do you see that stupid little mark on my arm?

Its a reminder of how much more stupider I am,

a permenant constant reminder of just how SCREWED UP

I am...

Are you Happy World-?

You know now...

The story of a lost and deadly soul-

The Story of a Fucked Up Girl...

(To Be Continued...)

((Because life has only started and my sufferings have only JUST begun-))

(((I havnt tried hanging, or a gun it may just [most likely will] be less painful...)))

((((I think it is...hmm...))))

*Dont look*

*Monster in the Making*

*Dont help*

*Soul that is Gone*

...hopeless...