Untrusted

Untrusted,
unloved.
...
Broken...tears stream...
What else can I do when Im trapped in such a prison...
UNFAIRNESS!!!
...
I dont want this...please...
Dont make me say it....I dont want her to know....I wished to wait forever without telling her...
But...I must...I....Cant...
I JUST CANT!!!!
NO!
...
Yes.?
yes....my tears they suffocate, flood me.
I dont want to do this to her, to me.
ITS NOT FAIR!!!!
"Life's not fair."
Dont say that!!!! Dont tell me!!!!
Please make this easy...I dont want to cry I tried to hold my head up high....but....how high must I hold it before all this goes away? Not high enough, because its still here...I Still have to do it...and I STILL dont want to...
I JUST DONT DAMNIT !!!
I DONT....just dont....
I cant be this strong.,..no one is....I cant hold it in any longer I cant....
But I must for my own sanity?
What sanity, My sanitys long gone....
Lord please help me...
I dont want to cry, I dont want that to end....
I want....
But I cant....
I will go...to break heart now.
Ima go do it now.....ARE U HAPPY MOM!!!?
HU?!
ARE YOU!?!?
CUZ IM NOT!!!!
....Im not....