The Story Behind The Monster...

Can never tell...
Always hide...
Call to it...
tell em to come out...
Always in shadows....
Hiding, whats true, to keep the better side of reality there longer....
Don't go, always there....
Hiding....
Much untold....
Much to tell.....
But lips sealed....
words don't escape...
Tears hidden....
Run away when they try to talk....
Cant handle it, don't know how....
run and hide....all to cry alone, and walk back in with a smile on the face....
Deceiving...no just scared.
Love never given, cant be received.
So when its handed you don't know how to dish it back out.

"Amanezco y me acuesto contigo

En mis sueos simpre ests tu conmigo

No hay momento en que me estoy pensando

Que por fin, tu me sigues amando

Las estrellas estan en tus ojos

Aun te digan que estan en el cielo

Yo no se, de tristeza su en ojos

Con tu amor

Corazon me consuelo..."

~Selena's, Aunque No Salga El Sol

or

"Late at night when all the world is sleeping

I'd stay up and think of you

And I'd wish on a star

That somewhere you are thinking of me too..."

~Selena's, Dreaming of You

.

Perfect Example for (some) of what I feel

New Thoughts---

Okay so I lied-
I hid the crap that my heart didn't understand but fully felt...
I hid it because I knew you'd take it the way you did, and that hurt me,
but it's ok...I don't care anymore...because that's the past and as for the present...
The feelings....(and poems) are much different....

They're....real.

Tengo Meido...

I'm afraid that with every passing day....

I like you more and more...

Is that a bad thing?

I like it....you....

but...is it bad that the liking of you grows?

I tried to stop it..(once)..but it didn't work out to well...

I guess...I'm scared?

But...I don't care...

I want to be with you...and that's the scary part...

But... I leave it to you.

You tell me-

Is it bad that my liking is growing?

Should it only be at a neutral liking?

Violation,
story of a nation.
Hey Mr.President why dont ya try a little harder,
to help your people, protect US ur ass's not ganna get bombed.
Be the father of our country, not the asswhipe that u are now.
But hey too young to vote, my word doesnt count.
Hysteria,
all you cause, poor Iraq-
WHATD THEY DO TO YOU!
Hey, Mr. P.,
Go take a ride a ride in our bus, a tour to our town you wanna see how we cant pay our bills because of taxes, you wanna see how we gatta walk because you take our school funds?
You wanna see how we live on streets with no food or shelter?! HU?! DO YOU!?!?
Didnt think so,
Mr.P. GET OFF STAGE! UR LIGHTS HAVE JUST BEEN SHATTERED!!!!
(Cuz I threw my shoe at them)

Confused, oh so confused...

I don't know whether or not I should

fall, for you...

.

So confused...

It hurts, it truly does...

I want to believe u care but...

.

Then I see ___

And I know your hearts split,

but my question is...

Who has more [of your heart]?

Me or ___?

.

I wont say I love you...

But I cant lie, I care...

I truly, truly care...

...Too much maybe...

Please Forgive Me

Im sorry,

I never meant to drag you into this...

It was the last thing that I wanted...

...Im sorry....

So sorry...

My dear, My freind

Mi amiga, this is NOT what I wanted.

NOT what I planned.

Please know this...from the bottom of my heart.

I care, too much to want ANY of this for you.

So Id rather...(as much as it pains me,...as much as KILLS me) break it off with you completly...

But it's too late...then...

Ill stop it before it gets any worse....Im sorry....so so....

Sorry.

Untrusted

Untrusted,
unloved.
...
Broken...tears stream...
What else can I do when Im trapped in such a prison...
UNFAIRNESS!!!
...
I dont want this...please...
Dont make me say it....I dont want her to know....I wished to wait forever without telling her...
But...I must...I....Cant...
I JUST CANT!!!!
NO!
...
Yes.?
yes....my tears they suffocate, flood me.
I dont want to do this to her, to me.
ITS NOT FAIR!!!!
"Life's not fair."
Dont say that!!!! Dont tell me!!!!
Please make this easy...I dont want to cry I tried to hold my head up high....but....how high must I hold it before all this goes away? Not high enough, because its still here...I Still have to do it...and I STILL dont want to...
I JUST DONT DAMNIT !!!
I DONT....just dont....
I cant be this strong.,..no one is....I cant hold it in any longer I cant....
But I must for my own sanity?
What sanity, My sanitys long gone....
Lord please help me...
I dont want to cry, I dont want that to end....
I want....
But I cant....
I will go...to break heart now.
Ima go do it now.....ARE U HAPPY MOM!!!?
HU?!
ARE YOU!?!?
CUZ IM NOT!!!!
....Im not....

Dont cry any longer...

Those tears that ran,

that froze my heart.

The sight of such warm tears,

I didn't want to see,

Because they came from such cold thoughts.

It scarred me to see them,

pained me to wipe them,

but joyed me to see that the little things I did,

made all the difference for you.

I love you...My friend

And I'll Always be there...

to warm those cold tears and

comfort your disturbed heart.

Come to me...Because I'll be there...

~Always~

~To Someone Dear...an old friend...

The Game of Life... (Exerts From other poems)

You deal your cards...read them out
your game of poker
never won
roll your dice and see your fate
oh how your heart can be misplaced
Your life, you gamble
All away

BY: ME

..

Like a deck of cards,

my fate is dealt.

I held the dagger to my hearts, but my jacks said otherwise

with one more roll left to go

I found a soul no one would know.

My royal court adjourned

I barely passed by a thread, but

From broken hearts to broken mirrors,

I live on...

BY: ME

12/3/07

Well as Christmas Spirit takes over more people i happily join in everything christmas I LOOOOOOOOOVE CHRISTMAS!!!! :D :D :D :D =D :D :D :D :D :D


And well ive been helping ppl (well just one person) with their blog. they pick a poem of mine they like and post it. its meaningful i guess cuz they like it. guess it means something to them. i just write em.


Well at the moment im watching a christmas movie. so i think im done.