What is this i feel?
Is this right?
I am losing all the need i had to leave you.
But yet, i still have want, i still have drive..
But....i love you....
And so much says "stay." When every logical thing says go. What to do?....what do i do??.........

Without you......

I look out at the sea of people. An ocean of eyes, voices and skin. And see no one..
I listen to the suitors, of admirers, and of loved ones. And hear nothing..
I reach for the air, the water, the dirt beneath my feet, or the feel of warmth in someone else. And feel nothing..
Without you......Everything else is empty and lifeless.
It was through you I could see, I could hear, and I could feel.
It was through you, that I was alive.

Let me be........

Try as I might, work as I will, I just cant find the way to rid my mind of you. At times its easy, a few cuss words from you said the right way and Im set to just walk away and never look back.

But why, WHY?! do you follow as I leave??

You want me gone, so I go.

But then you mutter one of your honest "Im Sorrys." You make me laugh, make me smile, make me want to talk to you even when Im mad. And so I listen....

Until you do it all over again, it never changes.....My hearts in knots twisted by your grasp.

Let me be! Just leave me be....

I want no more of your smiles, no more of your laughs, no more of your jokes or cute words.

"I dont want to fall another moment into your gravity."

"Your neither friend or foe though I cant seem to let you go, but one thing that I do know, is that your keeping me down..."

"But something always brings me back to you...It never takes too long."

No matter what I see or do, its you that always lingers in my mind......Why is it so hard.....

Is it the anger I feel towards you? The undying sadness? The everlasting pain? Or the haunting memory of our happiness that hovers everywhere??............

So many promises......So many secrets........So many things......between two people.

Can you really erase it all? Can you really forget me that easily??.........

Can you really pretend that we never kissed or loved?........

That those things were never said, and that we didnt almost spent the rest of our lives together........

Can you really pretend so much that you forget.....??

"Did I really make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?"

"I should have known youd bring me heartache, almost lovers always do....."

But I cant help what I felt, it was never my plan to Love You.....

But I know if I went back in time and had a chance to change what has been, with no knowledge of the future except that at that moment I did one bad choice, I can assure you that I would never have thought it was you.

And I'd fall for you, every, single, time.......

I wanted to share it all. Give it all to you!......But you didnt understand....you didnt get the feelings I was showing you. Intensity just wasnt in your arsenal of emotions.......You turned away, when I told you what I wanted to share for our future, you laughed when i told you my dreams...........and you ran when I showed you how much i really loved you....

You didnt understand.......You felt that the only kind of genius came from books and GPAs.

You called me stupid, and said you would never respect me until I was up to par with your unrealistic expectations........

You tore everything I believed, and shredded my hopes and dreams......

You left me with nothing to stand on, so I fell.......

And now here I sit, in a dark pit, with nothing but broken pieces of everything I ever thought was real.....

But when you said...."I never loved you. i regret it all. I regret everything!"..............

Even my dark pit of despair crumbled in. I was caved in by the very words that will haunt me forever.....

You never loved me........you even told me the only thing that kept you around was your lust.......

I never meant a thing.......Everything yo said, everything you shared.......was a lie........

I lost it........I panicked. Searching for reason, searching for proof to combat every word you uttered.......

I couldnt believe that I spent three years of my life giving all of myself........to someone who lied to me all along.

I had to find justification. That our secrets, our promises did mean something.

That a part of you will always be mine..............

I didnt ask to hear those things......you go out your way to hurt me...........

But I'm still here. I still stand. I made out of the hole you threw me in and left me in for dead.

Now I walk, alone and deserted, distraught.....Not being able to comprehend the idea of you meaning what you said.......

"So your gone and Im broken but I bet that you are just fine....."

"Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream Im trying not to think about you cant you just................... let me be!!!......"

Almost Lover- A Fine Frenzy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsWsasqIoyk

Gravity-Sara Bareilles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEXhAMtbaec

Life support for the Heartless

You leach on, with all your might, intent on sucking out all the life.
You break hearts, destroy families, and make people go insane.
Your life support is that which you steal from others, you take and take and you'd rather run 100 miles North, than ever have to give anything back.
Your cold; transparent mind, with a glass heart.
Your delicate to the touch, but so far have you fallen, you have lost all human inclinations.
All thats left is an empty shell, of a human that once was.
Your heartless.
Heart/less.
>-He-ar-t->less....

Just wishful thinking....

If I said that I need you, would you be there?
If I said I miss you, would you even think once of me?
If I said that I would die for you, would you even care?
If I said I die without you, would you even glance back?
If I said that I think of you always, miss you dearly, am dying with every hour that passes without you, would it mean anything?.....

Titanic Memory Moment........

I was just sitting here, studying, music playing in the background when before I knew it I found myself thinking of shared kisses and the beauty of moments from not so long ago.......When I noticed it was this song playing, from a movie that we all know and love, Titanic.
I remember when we first watched it.........I waited so long to watch it with you...........we kissed on the part when this song played, when Jack and Rose first kiss. Its hard to forget, when your everywhere............Theres just too many moments where we had our own magical kiss, that made everything seem perfect...........It makes me smile............But I cant help but always think in the back of my mind if its just me............If it was just me who felt the magic all along..the touches, whispers, laughs, murmurs.............did they mean at all the same to you?.............Or is it really....just me?
"I'll Never let go," of those memories regardless.....there's too much beauty in those memories to let them slip away so easily......