the ME!...that Dares...

Reaching out,

touching air,

grasping...atmosphere.

.

Touch whats not there,

Feel what you "belive" is there,

grasp what others 'think' is there...

This is how it works,

always,

tradition,

belifs,

trends...

.

And why cant I fight it?

Why cant I question, it?!

Anythig out of the "norm." Scares you, people.!

Well...I DARE TO DIFFER!
DARE TO BE DIFFRENT...

I DARE, TO BE...

ME!!!

CHRISTMAS!!!!

Well because of the Macys Perade on TV on thanksgiving, you know at the end they have Santa come out well that to me said CHRISTMAS IS HERE!!!!!!
And in case u didnt know I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! =D =D =D I love the lights, the music, the happiness and cherriness in everyone, I love the food...just the overall atmosphere. But last but not least the preasents :D lol. But i just LOoooooooVE IT!

and it actually took me out of that horrible place I was in and brought me back to human earth, but its temporary but untill then, the time when I gatta go back... Im Happy! :D

The Way to Make it Through Life.

Inspiration found in the strangest of places.

.

~like from a movie about things you want but cant have because they're too perfect, but you still dream of.

~

Hope shone from where there was no light.

.

~like from the thought of a newly made friend, when you've had ancient friends who've tried to help you all along but somehow this one makes all the difference.

~

Reminiscing is danger to the heart and soul, but bliss for the mind.

.

~but when i think back to all that has happened to me in my life, all the inspiration and good thoughts disappear leaving only scorn and pain.

~

Inspirational speeches bring hope.

.

~But then after having an inspirational talk with someone who's going through a little of what you went through and you give them confidence and inspiration. You regain your strength back too as well.

~

Pain and suffering of the past and the hope and good times of the present mix in a tidal wave that presents itself in a repetitive tidal wave.

.

~but of course it never ends, and it'll start all over again, so all you can do is prepare yourself for the next wave and not hope but know your going to make it out alive.

~

One day you'll make it to shore.

How Can I Cope?

How can i Cope,

when such sorrows gnawing at my feet,

tearing their way to my heart,

ripping through my skin,

destroying my soul.

.

How can I cope,

when your not around to help me?

Not around to see,

Not around to bleed.

Maybe its better,

You shouldnt suffer...

But Why do I have to do this alone??

.

How Can I Cope?

Fighting alone once more.

But last time...I feel like you were there,

spirtually, emotionaly

holding my hand

guiding my body.

Lifting my soul from the depths so near destruction.,

...So near...Hell...

So close...

.

How Can I Cope?

When, yet, here I am...

Sitting here,

pouring myself to who?!

To whom,

Who listens?

I go through it again my ____,

and your not around...

I spin looking for you...

but your no where near,

nowhere within miles,

Nowhere within years...

.

How Can I Cope?

How Can I Cope?

How Can I....

Live?

.

How Can I ?

I Cant...change it...

I feel an emptyness,

yes thats it, an emptyness.

That eats me,

Eats me up on the inside.

Bleeding in,

Quiet out.

My hand outstreached,

but invisible.

None see it,

is that my fault?

Am I too dramtic??

How am I,

When its how I feel,

What I truly deeply feel,

and sadly...I cant change that.

Renewing, Renewed

Renewed,

Redoing, mistakes of my past.

Revoking, Prevoking,

that thing that scarred me so deeply last time.

Reborn,

Rebirth,

of what I ran and hid from so much it deeply wounded/hurt me.

Replaying,

those awful memories and nightmares.

Re-killing, what

I fought so D@#! hard to destroy.

Recking the heart that I had just re-stiched...

Re-falling,

Re-drowning,

Re-collapsing,

Re-dying...

Renewing.

Not Yet...

"Little girl take my hand ill guide you,

across this crowded street...

Ill hold your hand, Ill guide you and protect you..."

Wonderful lady,

Ill take your hand, Ill let you guide me, because I was blind,

But now,

I see.

I dont need you...

...

Shes what?

WHAT?!

No...No!

No...

Its impposible,

that cant be, my rock cant be gone,

my cane....my guide....CANT, just

cant.

How can I live, without....you???

How?

I still had so much to ask, so much to tell, so much i wished, hoped to share with you...

But now...

No!

now...

I cant...

Im sorry..

Im sorry... I lied!

I did,

I Do need you!

Dont leave me!!!

....

Im not that grown, I "still" need You.
You and only You.
Now and forever, so please dont leave me... not yet...
(dont take that bright smile of yours with you,

and leave me with nothing...)

not yet...

dont leave me...mamy...not yet...

im not ready,

not yet...

_____ (You)

If I told You my choice,

how would you feel?

About something so contriverstial....

would you exile me?

(How could you..Im part of Your heart)

But would you be dissapointed...?

(I dont think i could handle MORE dissapointment....)

Then what....do I tell you, will it pass, should i wait ???

So many questions cloud my head, but no answers arrive through the thinkness of my drowning tears....

Cant You just tell me what to do....?

Please, help me once more, heal me ___,

Im not that grown, I "still" need You.

You and only You.

Now and forever, so plese dont leave me... not yet...

not yet...

Icons.

More (great) Icons.

Icons.

Good Icons.

Because are pretty much all the ones I have that are nice enough to post.

I Pray?

Kneels Down,

looks up to the heavens,

bows head,

closes her eyes and preys.

For what?

As a single, lone tear rolls down her still cheek,

eyes shut.

She prays harder...

Looks up, open eyes,

Streaming tears...

Why has God Let her down....

Or maybe...

I let "him" down.

Bella Traicion~~(Beautiful Deception)

Your nothing but a Beautiful Deception,
here to break my heart.
Selfish,
and unknowingly,
I don't hate you...
nor her....
I just wish...
That it wasn't me-
The Deceived
Your Just a
Beautiful Deception...