"Words are powerful..." ~Someone I wont forget...too soon.

What's Wrong with "ME"...

I don't want to upset,or mislead anyone. I never have, some things...just weren't my intentions.
But people tend to misunderstand and I tend to never correct it when I have the chance. Living on saying "wish I would've done that." For the rest of my life, living in the past...never being able to move on because of what holds me back. Because of what tortures me. Now, it is beginning to affect every aspect of my life. Before I could control and ignore it. But as time went by, especially recently, it became harder and harder to control it, to...runaway from it. Now it's time to face it. Ok yeah Fine! But how....how do you face something that you can no longer reach? Ive tried to talk to those Ive hurt, to fix things, but they will either not talk to me or talk once and I'll never hear from them again...People lie, when I try so hard....So Damn Hard. Who says I want to try. I just want to move on...I Want
My life back.
But now I cant even move forward without taking a step back. Ive changed. My friendships diminishing. My family doesn't trust me. My love life non-existent. My future...Quickly Disappearing.
I just want...Gaby. Even Gabriela.
But this person, this...stranger I'm forced to walk with Every Living Day!
Isn't...Me. I am Lost.
And I just want, the little help I cant get on my own, to finish this, and
Meet Me again.
But I cant do it on my own, I see that now....I just cant...No matter how much i d like to.
So ME just wait....a little longer. I'll find you, again.
Just wait for me...

Prayer to Mi Angle~

Angel why arent you protecting me,
watching over me.
Helping me, to guide me.
I pray on my knees to you,
and you are no where to be found,
you little mischevious angel.
[You little devil.]
Why do you do this to me?
Please, help me, guide me, and protect me,
like you have and always will be....

Over it...

How over it I am,
Over Love,
Over Pain,
Over tears, scraps, and people....
So over, their thoughts, the words they say, and all that Shh...
I'm just so Over It!
Over all the shh that was caused, over all the effin tears i cried for you, them and me,
over all the things I had so stupidly fallin for.
Over it! And it Wont happen again...

Scrub,
Scrub,
Scrub, wash and clean,
all these horrid feelings away...
To rinse them away with water,
so it flows down and away,
far, far, away down the river and into the ocean.
To be lost, Forever...

How I was so easily coaxed,
into these silly,
little stupid,
feelings and thoughts.
It's just, not how I wish to be thinking,
not how I wish to be living.
But how to erase it?
I don't know.
I know that I cant help it,
I know that I try to fight it,
I know that...if I were to have it, I'd like it...
But that's bad, not ME.
But...just a part of me, a part I wish I could erase,
A part better off burned.
But oh, the fun Ive had with that side of me,
and if I don't erase it, the fun I could have...

Always keep love at arms length.
Let it in too close and its will fire will burn.
"Let it burn baby..." doesn't always have to apply,
when your smart life isn't always so hard.
So keep friends near and dear, because they'll pull you forward when your goin backwards.
And keep love far, because it'll keep you down.

My fingers pressing on the keys,
is like music flowing from inside of me,
through, passing itself on. Onto the window where all can be seen.
Where you, I, them, her, and All can see. Where all can read me,
can see into my mind.
My lovely power of expressing how I feel, poetically, to express all the
mumbled words, jumbles thoughts, and muffled, choked down unspoken words lie dormant,
until these hands, these fingers awaken them.
Onto these keys I pour, but onto my pen and paper I fall, where my best and most beautiful, saddest, scariest thoughts and feelings lie. Waiting to be seen by the world, or hiding for centuries to come only to be found and admired.
Yet to be discovered are all those feelings unfelt and thoughts unfounded.

Morals...

How can something that feels so right,

Be so wrong?

To All of my Future B. Friends...

Im Scared to fully trust you,
Sweetie, I Luvs you, Truly I do,
But just rember this, Please.
That I have a tendency to fall, and fall fast for people who show me compassion and true friendship, love and honesty, for people who show me all the things I want see,
and I ALWAYs pay. Because I get hooked so fast and easily, it hurts me deeply when they Always leave in the end.
So Ive learned to be more cautious so as to not get hurt.
So as long as you understand that, Sweetie. We'll be great.
Dont think that I dont trust you please, if you think that, you insult me. And dont Ever, EVER, just NEVER think that I dont listen. You'd be surprised how good I can listen.
But, just give us time, and we'll be tighter than the tightest I've ever been with anyone.
So Just Keep this in mind,
K Sweetie, and we'll be fine.
I Luvs You, Bunny. ^_^

In a better world,
Humans wouldn't exist.
That, would be, the best world.
A world without the cause of Destruction.

Goin High, and Never bein able to Fall Low Enough...

Barely passin,
Hangin by a thread.
Made of glass,
crystal high.
Wish, to the the stars, next door, that I, could bring it down,
low enough,
to touch earth.
To cum down, and relax, just let life, relapse, for a lil while,
as I just cruise on in pure blissful harmony.
But stuck up,
Strung High I am.
And aint no cumin down, unless,
[you] Someone Cuts the String.

"Feeling bad makes us human,
but hope makes us wise." -Aaron Ramirez

Poem to My New BFF~

~Want me to Hold You Up,
I will lift you to the sky.
~Want me to Make You Smile, When your down,
best believe I will Make you bust up Laughin.
~Want me to Hug You, just cuz,
my Arms are Always open.
~Want me to Hear You out,
Girl, I will Hear, and Advise you, till me ears drop, and my voice stops.
~Want me to be The Bestest Friend for you,

...I'll be all that and More.

^_^ Cuz Im a Friend thats here to stay. ^_^

Tell me,
what your ganna tell me,
and then tell me what you told me.

Como...

Como me das una sonriza,
..... lleno de lo que el llamo "amor,"
Quando tu, dieses que no sientes nada por mi.

Mientes.

Y Rompes, nada pero MI pobre, stupido, corazon.

Como me ases llorad y sonrir todo con el mismo abrazo,

Sin sientendo nada,por mi?

Take the knife,

and swiftly, very "sweetly",

insert into

The hole that you left, behind.

The hole that you dug,

Deep into my heart.

So stop the bleeding,

by causing death,

and just insert the rest.

And; Finish Your Job, you started.

I see all...

and it kills me...

"You Dont know me

and you Dont even Care..."

Cant write about someone...I Dont Know.

Its the ME, I, MYSELF, (and you)

I Dont [truly] Know...

And now, I swear to Hide the unknown, and all the little that I Do know, The Feelings I feel,

I find myself making these promises for others...

that I just cant keep...

[and I Hate making promises I cant keep]

But its all they, [you] want from me...

But it's not what I want for myself...

But I do want to make all happy...

But how can I do this, without Hurting myself...?

I know all,

for everyone else...

I see all...

and it'll always kill me...

Its a Gift...

A cursed Gift that comes at a price...

That I Always Pay,

(and all, for others that dont care).