Quite Dream....

To feel so inspired and to want so so so badly to make that difference
that you almost yearn it, need it for your existence to continue without pain...
But to feel such passion, and feel so lost as to how you can further that passion....
It's almost worse than the pain of losing a great love.....
Because you have the love....it's right there in front of you,
right in your grasp so close, your fingers can almost wrap around it and pluck it from where it hangs in front of you taunting you....
but you cant....
It's just far enough that you can't reach it.......
And at times you get tired of jumping....
like a little kid being tortured by someone taller, someone older......who pushes you down and beats you up.....
But you gotta get back up.
Because one day you'll grow taller, and older too and that big kid
Wont seem so big anymore.
But for now my heart yearns.....
For something so far beyond what others think....
To feel alone even though I know I am not.
I know there are more out there who yearn as much as I do.
But who wants it more?
Who's passion burns stronger?
How badly do they want to make that change?
How badly do I want to make it??
Am I really willing to risk it all for an ideal....to wrap my hands at something that may not even ever come true......
I think the true fear is that I know in my heart......
.......that I would......
That the answer is yes....
But now I find myself asking more and more on a daily basis, How?
How could I make it happen??....
Something that began as a simple minute thought......has snowballed into something much larger.....something larger than myself......something I am not the claimer of.....I claim no stakes on the ideas, on the thoughts- they are but a mixture of readings of hundreds of movers before me.....This must be an obsession.......
People who, just like me, learned from others before them, saw wisdom in the lines of words in books, who took the spoken knowledge of the lips from strangers and known people alike, let the words and ideals that burned from others passions in a multitude of topics ignite small fires in their own souls and minds over time
Until finally it mixed and molded something great.....their own beliefs.
Until they now had a set of values and ideals they could call their own beliefs. Things that they saw to be true.
Whatever it may be. But things they held dear and true. Things they would fight for, things they would protect.
Things that weren't tangible. No, these were more valuable than any jewel, these "things" were sets of thoughts; sculpted ideas painted into one masterpiece of self decided guidelines for what would come to shape the rest of their life.....
Fueled by passion, but grown through knowledge. These weren't just any beliefs.
No, these were the beliefs and views of a revolutionary.
Thought and ideals that were meant to cause change and ignite a passion, a higher state of thinking in others to cause a change for greater good....of people.
So much I could say....I find my fingers unable to keep up with my thoughts.....
But alas....I will stop here.....
Because to explain the multitude of passions in this mind alone....I fear any reader would not keep up at this time.
But one day.....one day.....something will be written that no reader will want to put down....
but until that day...I can only say.....no write.....
That these words are my own, but these feelings......have been, are, and will be......shared by millions......
I am not alone.
There are those out there who seek a truer world.....where the word "justice" and "the United States of America" are still synonymous but hold truth as well. Where the lies are put forth for the world to see, and the people are no longer treated as the oblivious idiots they allow themselves to be........
It's a long stretch, I know.
But greater wars have been fought for less......
Why not fight for something with meaning this time?
Think about it......

the entity of the poet will always be, unknown.

I believe regardless, and will always keep believing. I am sorry, that I let you think, for even a moment that you could tear me down. Cuz you know what sets us apart, I will grow and change, and will love always. Own up to whats been done, apologize, and move on and grow. Walk with my head held high. Yeah, Im sorry, for letting you think you had that power for even a second. But I wont hate you, your a product of the lies around you. I wish you the best, may you learn one day, as Im working to learn now.
With love, Someone who no longer needs you.

I feel as though, my life is quickly spinning out of control.

Going downward, slowly crashing, and Im just standing there; watching.

My heart aches, my head hurts. My chest burns, and my eyes blur.

I dont know what to do, how do I gain control.

I just want to be happy, to smile again. Once more...

Much Adieu about Nothing

You looked into my eyes, said those words, were they lies?

I forgot how happy, were those times, when you kept me in mind.

In an instant, in a flash you were here now your gone. Now I find myself asking, what went wrong?

I know your mind has changed, I can't move it, once it's made.

Sadness fills my heart, I can't help it, I just care.

But I guess this is it, no last words, so I'll write this note.

I thought about what you said, though harsh words, I got their sense.

I guess in the end, doesn't matter if I've changed, you'll always see me in those ways...

I wanted tell you that I was sorry, for it all.

I know you'll never see me, as that sweet girl.

I never meant to hurt you, I was just a fool, so deeply in love.

I never should have chased you, or done those desperate things, moments I'm not proud of..

If you knew just what I meant, and how I felt, you'd know,

this is for real... So from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry, and I have love for you.

But I'll keep it short, you wont hear from me anymore.

With those words I promise you, I will never bother you.

And if you ever slip up, and come to me, I swear I'll make it easy, and give you no reply.

So this is my gift to you, forevermore I bid you adieu.

Why does it hurt, why does my heart tear, at the thought, that your no longer there?

A poisoned love, thorn through my heart, my toxic rose, so harsh was your love.

Long for your look, long for your touch, isn't once enough?! it seems as though I long for you pain and suffering too.

No good were you, but yet here am, writing this little petty note.

I take a step out, but as soon as you advance into my life, I fall 3 steps back.

No more do I cry, at the missing sight of your eyes, but oh how my heart begs for your unwilling lullaby.

I don't know how, to rid of this pain; will you never think of me again?

My mind no longer yearns for your torture, at least to some point, I have mustered enough courage.

But deep inside, where secrets lie, I wish for you, even one last time...

And if I ever got that time, I debate between gauging your eyes out or kissing you as though you were mine.

But no more, will I think of this, at least for now...I am rid of you.

And when you return to haunt me once more, will you this time leave a note at my door;

telling me, why, you tortured me so...

Dont assume the worst, or bad will always come. Keep your expectations realistic, so disappointment doesnt hit you when it doesnt always turn out your way. Think a little less, and smile a lil more. Life's not as complicated as it seems, and when it is- Scream, yell, cry, but never give up. Then get back up, and you keep walkin. Cuz life goes on, and time truly does heal the wounds and gashes, and scars are part of life. Dont dwell on the past, live in the present and look forward to the future. But most of all, be grateful for it all, because what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger. So much to enjoy in life, so why stand there thinkin about what went wrong? When there's so much right to be done. =)

Insperational Song

What drives you?

What drives a person to think that they don't deserve kindness or respect?
Abuse?? Hardship??
What drives a person to think they're so worthy of kindness and respect when they don't ever give a single ounce of it?
Guilt? Fear? Cowardliness??
The wicked hide behind false walls of strength, and the good are convinced they are worthless...
God is the only one who can judge us.
So let no one tell you your not worth it, and let the self righteous fall hard upon their own lies. We all go through the hard, to learn and cherish the right.
So be grateful, and don't forget that everything you have, will one day be gone,
and in the end.....
All that matters is what you've done, and said on this earth, cuz the rest, is temporary.