Take the knife,

and swiftly, very "sweetly",

insert into

The hole that you left, behind.

The hole that you dug,

Deep into my heart.

So stop the bleeding,

by causing death,

and just insert the rest.

And; Finish Your Job, you started.

I see all...

and it kills me...

"You Dont know me

and you Dont even Care..."

Cant write about someone...I Dont Know.

Its the ME, I, MYSELF, (and you)

I Dont [truly] Know...

And now, I swear to Hide the unknown, and all the little that I Do know, The Feelings I feel,

I find myself making these promises for others...

that I just cant keep...

[and I Hate making promises I cant keep]

But its all they, [you] want from me...

But it's not what I want for myself...

But I do want to make all happy...

But how can I do this, without Hurting myself...?

I know all,

for everyone else...

I see all...

and it'll always kill me...

Its a Gift...

A cursed Gift that comes at a price...

That I Always Pay,

(and all, for others that dont care).

Dont do it anymore

She says

Dont do it

She whispers

Not Again!

She Crys

Damnit! No More!

Then Why Cant I stop...

I know

that you

no longer feel

those feelings anymore.

But I still feel,

everything.

I feel it all,

hate,

love,

want,

care,

despise,

dismise

the list doesnt end.

On and on,

I secretly cry,

worst part is...I cant tell no one why I frown.

But dont

misread me

I care for you,

and I care for her,

very strictly as Friends,

I KNOW how to separate friends from something else or more.

Something you believe I cant do.

Something I know you cant do.

(I just choose something more over friends, and for that Im sorry,

But I cant let go.)

I dont Hate you, such a strong word,

But I feel hate, something so very different.

I feel it but I know its not true,

Omg, there is just so much I want to say to you,

That I NEED to tell you,

Screams, Tears, URGH!

*Breathes*

But I know I cant, and probably never will...(because of you)

But you need to know, clearly, what your doing to me...

You single handidly ruined my life...Sad Part is I cant hate you for it...

Because I still love you so...

But I scoff, Spit on those words...

But it doesnt(/does) matter,

Because you'll, never get to know it anyways.

You have no time for others,

no time for me,

No time for me even as your "friend"...

Hope you see this all one day and realize what Im trying to say,

I pray that one day your open minded and understanding enough,

for this.

Peace Love Dats The End.

Opened Up

I know you care

I know you Dont.

.

.

.

You came into my life,

just like that, baby.

How can it be, that you just dont see,

Dont relize all that we could have,

should have been.

___ You were mine, I had you, I held you, baby...

you were mine...

And how it kills me to know...to see you, with her.

in her arms,

Knowing that the same lips that kissed me so sweetly now touch hers,

Sour thoughts.

Those wonderful, brave arms that held me so tightly...so warmly.

What do you see in her!?

Because I can be...three times more...

Baby...Please...Come back to me...

[Cant you see...How I yearn for yours-]

Lalala, this life I live

this lie.

(No.) Haha, how good I have it

because your blind.

Shh! Lol. Im fine. Hehe. Everythings great, Im so grateful.

Your trying to decive yourself.

No! My life is great! I have nothing to complain about!!

Quit lying to yourself.

I am not! ... Am I?

You are.

... *gasp*

Realization. *smirk*

I am.

*smile*

...I...I...

To Be Continued...

Your Going to Suffer...

Your Going to Suffer...

Suffer Gravely.

You cuss and mistrust me behind my back,

Laugh and insult me where I cant see, cant hear you.

Real Valiant.

But yet I KNOW all these things and yet I STILL try to save you,

Both.

Its a curse, and a gift I have,

to care and care too much.

I KNOW that both of you will suffer,

suffer so much.

You will want to commit suicide and the other will want to transfer schools.

Your both goin to be the death of each other.

Your going to cry, so much.

But both run their friends away and how Id love to be there when it happens,

to comfort and help them, both.

But Ive made a choice, No more them.

It will affect, I will pay for it, but its ok I put myself in front of the car as long as its helping/saving someone else.

You mock and hurt me And I STILL am determined to help you,

You going to Suffer.

Sooooo Much.

I don't want to see it happen,

I want to stop the crash before it occurs.

Hear me.

Damnit!

...

Suffer.

And when your on the floor crawling and no one will help you,

I will Still kneel beside you, pick you up,

dry your tears.

I who never judged you.

I who never abused your trust.

I, who when others would have judged you, only comforted your tears.

I who was always there for you no matter what.

I that you insult, and take for granted, would still pick your dying body up,

and heal you, never once rubbing it in your face that you messed up.

But its ok treat me as you wish, But know [and never forget] that I will always care

(and always have.)

So heed my words,

Please,

You Are going to Suffer...

More than you could ever imagine.

Fix it all?

If I just wave a wand and say POOF and make everything Perfect,

I would.

If I could just wish on a star and make everything Ive ever done wrong be gone,

[to wish all those I hurt, cured.

All those I made cry, spared.

All those I made angery, Happy.]

I would.

If I could just grab a wrench and tweak and fix all my imperfections,

TRUST ME

I would.

But I Can't.

Never say Never,

But I cant,

I really just cant...

God knows that with every day I feel the EXtreme guilt,

of what Ive done;

of all those Ive hurt.

I carry the pain,

of all those that have hurt me.

Everyday, I FEEL it,

Everyday, I HEAR the hate, like a broken record,

Everyday, I could [swear] I can TOUCH it, GRASP it;

The Horror, takes form, through me, In Me.

It moves, and runs,

Drives and swims,

Carrying Terror Throughtout every GoshDamn Vain and Essance of my body,

Dropping little Demons that Crawl throught my brain,

That leave little reels of tape behind,

So I can watch and relive the Horrid Terror again,

and again and again and again

and again and again

and...AGAIN!!!

....

But I make mistakes,

but the thing that seperates me from most others,

is that I Learn,

Yes, the hard way, Always the Hard Way.

But I learn,

and I Grow...

Sometimes, in the wrong direction...

But somehow...I Always make it to the light...

And I KNOW lifes Just begun..

And it Terrifies me, but...

I Am Brave,and I WILL Fight,

And Ill go through livin life best I can,

Stupid as I am.

So No,

I Cant Fix it all,

But I WILL try.

Just keep that smile on for me, with ur heart in full shine on it,

and Ill come around, and realize by someway how Effin Dumb I am, and how I cant quiet get the rights words out straight, right when its most important.

And somehow...Ill say the right things,

And Sometimes...Just Sometimes...

We Can Fix It All.

(And if not...Make Sure, you can say, You Tried.)

Well im glad Ive got someone for Valentines...
Just wish I actually liked/loved them...
But its all fake, he doesnt like me...right?
Well its only for a day....so it doesnt matter right???

well

Happy

Valentines...

anyways

Me.

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